What Is Love Anyway?

Love encompasses a very wide range of positive and powerful emotional and psychological states, from pure virtue or ideal good-doing, to the deepest personal pleasure, the greatest personal experience. The more I read and study love and relationships the more I realize that love is not about any particular emotion or mental state. It’s about the ability to connect with others emotionally and be a part of their lives. The emotional states love can create are based on the responses and actions people take with love.

Intimacy is a romantic idea that creates and expresses love. For me, one of the most important aspects of loving relationships is intimacy. I believe this is true for a lot of couples, not only those who have a child together. I’ve observed many couples in long-term relationships where one partner has romantic love for another person, but little intimacy.

While there is love, there is also attachment, devotion, desire and infatuation, all of which can be expressed and are related to love. Attraction is often described as having something attracted to us, and while it seems to be easy for some people to fall into the trap of believing “they just have to have me” or “my love is so perfect, I can’t imagine living without it,” these are just ways of describing what love is in relation to the other person. Attraction isn’t always related to feelings. People may put themselves out there with great feeling and romantic love, yet they don’t often have the kind of intimacy people may think is essential to a fulfilling relationship.

All three styles of relating involve connecting with another person, though in different ways. Attraction is when two people meet and come together because of some unique quality, whether it is physical, spiritual, emotional or both. People attract others to them based on the things they share, their similarities and differences, and their similarities in their goals and values. Attraction is the initial spark that starts a relationship, and it ends once that relationship becomes too familiar and everyday.

Love is more than just an emotion; it’s about connecting with another human being and learning about their uniqueness. Although love may be the initial spark for a relationship, it doesn’t end there. A healthy relationship includes harmony between two people, positive emotions, passion, sharing and responsibility for each other’s growth and happiness.

One way of viewing love is that it’s either physical or emotional, and both are forms of attraction. It’s not just one or the other; it’s both. It’s when one person begins to focus only on the physical side of a relationship that it becomes obsession and that’s when the separation begins. Physical intimacy is just a form of attraction, and it’s easy to get caught up in this form of attraction by believing you need it more than you actually do. Remember, your relationship needs both positive and negative form of attraction for it to survive and thrive!